


Pet Peeve

by postmanbutters



Category: South Park
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Messy, Sexual Tension, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-04
Updated: 2014-02-04
Packaged: 2018-01-11 03:29:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1168122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/postmanbutters/pseuds/postmanbutters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>stan pisses with the door open and kyle has had enough of it</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pet Peeve

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ozirj](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ozirj/gifts).



> a commission for a friend!!  
> never wrote piss stuff before i hope u guys like it or something idk

Kyle could kill. He could kill without mercy- without even a second thought, because this had to be the fifth time this month Stan Marsh was pissing with the fucking door open.  
They’d known each other for years, longer than either of them have ever known anyone else, so Stan had to know how much this enraged him. He was teasing him, that was what he was doing. And it was working.  
He slammed down his text book, there was no way he was going to let Stan do this to him again, and stormed out of his room, leaning against the frame of the bathroom door and knocking against the wall. Stan looked startled, the stream of piss pausing as if Kyle had scared it away or something.  
“Uh.. need something?” He asked uncomfortably, eyeing the other man curiously, “Oh, yeah, sure, sorry,” Kyle narrowed his eyes, hand on his cocked hip, “I would’ve knocked but it seems you forgot how to close the fucking door.” Stan sighed, in an ‘oh, this again’ kind of way, rolling his eyes and silently wishing he could pull his pants up or something, “Dude it’s.. not a big deal. I mean it’s not like urinals have stalls or anything.” Kyle pursed his lips, “This isn’t some shitty little public restroom at one of those disgusting bars you’re always hanging around in, this is our house, Stan. We live here. You’re being gross.”  
It wasn’t like Stan wasn’t used to lectures, they’d been roommates for a good ten years and have always bickered like a married couple. Kyle managed to be not only his best friend, but his mother and nagging wife all in one feisty little red-haired package.  
“Yeah, it’s our house, and I can piss with the door open if I want to.” Kyle bristled, his hair seemed to stand on end, “No you can’t.”  
“Yes. I can.”  
They went back and forth for a minute or so, Stan’s cock still in his hand, finding he didn’t really even have to go that much now, anyways, and Kyle mostly focusing on not looking at it.  
“Fine. If you want to go around pissing in front of everyone all the time, go ahead. Do it.”  
Stan blinked, cheeks going red, “.. I can’t when you’re in here, dude.”  
“Well then why do you have the door open?”  
He narrowed his eyes, taking this as somewhat of a challenge. He sighed, sucking in a bit of a sheepish breath and positioning his dick, glancing once at Kyle before turning to look at the other side of the bathroom, staring down a bottle of shampoo. After he’d mostly blocked the other out, he started again, pissing into the toilet and chewing hard on his bottom lip, face flushed.  
Kyle folded his arms across his chest, watching him with a huff, as if he hadn’t just been the one to ask him to.  
“Alright. I did it. Happy?” Stan shook his dick gently, making sure he got the last few drops. Kyle furrowed his eyebrows, “Are you even going to wash your hands?”  
“What? Scared I’m going to get piss on you or something?” He smirked, tucking his cock back into his boxers and tugging up his jeans, buttoning them up. Kyle hid his disappointment, Stan had always been pretty to look at. “No, genius, I’m scared you’re going to get piss all over the house.” Stan laughed, reaching out to bop the end of the other’s nose for good measure, Kyle frowned in disgust, batting away at the others hand as Stan turned away to rinse them off.  
“There, princess,” He showed him his hands, palms forward, “All clean.”  
“Bullshit.” Kyle quipped, reaching over to tug back the waistband of Stan’s pants with one finger, “Your dicks not.” Stan threw up his hands, “Who the fuck wipes their dick, dude?!” Kyle blanched, it wasn’t as if he did, but now he was intent on making Stan feel as gross as he could, “Well you sure don’t.” Stan rolled his eyes defiantly, glancing down at Kyle irritably, “What do you want me to do, dude, whip it out?” Kyle shrugged.  
“Wait- hold on a second, are you hard?” Stan was laughing now, and Kyle’s eyes widened, suddenly the one without the control in this situation. He hadn’t even noticed.  
Fuc k how embarrassing. Jesus christ, that wasn’t supposed to happen.  
He stammered, “Uh .. no, dude, no, I’m not.” Stan reached out and gave his crotch a brief grab, as if this was the most casual thing in the world to do to your best friend, Kyle’s cheeks turned an embarrassed shade of scarlet.  
“You’re totally hard. You’re so hard, dude.” Well, at least Stan didn’t seem to be mad. Just somewhat amused.  
He crossed his arms hard, “So?! You were just standing there with your dick hanging out, it was your fault.” Stan shook his head, “All I’m hearing right now is that you get off on watching me piss.” Kyle set his jaw, “That’s not true!” The noirette shrugged, as if he’d been waiting for something like this, and maybe he had, “So if I asked if you wanted to fuck right now, you’d say no?”  
Kyle’s mouth hung open and he swallowed dryly. Stan could ask him to do anything with him at all and he probably wouldn’t even have to think about it before agreeing. “Are you asking me to fuck?” He asked, cocking his head slightly to the side.  
“Yeah.” Was all Stan said, looking indifferent. “Fine. Let’s do it, then.”  
As soon as Kyle had voiced his agreement, Stan tugged him further into the bathroom, pressing his back up against the wall without the towel rack and pulling off his shirt, eager to see more of Kyle’s bare skin. It was rough and they didn’t kiss. Eventually Kyle ended up on the fuzzy bath mat on his hands and knees, Stan’s lips and teeth pressed continuously against his smooth shoulder, bucking up into him hard and fast, Kyle moaning tearily into the cheap fibers of the only imitation of a shag rug they could afford, found in the home improvement aisle of Target. In a rush, they’d used some bath oils as lube that Stan had insisted earlier that week it was extremely necessary for his continued cleanliness. Kyle had reluctantly tossed it into the cart, and now, as it was dripping down his parted thighs, he’d began to wish they’d purchased something a little less sticky. He liked to feel clean.  
Stan had begun to whisper something breathily into his ear, voice low and husky so he could barely understand him. He caught the word ‘babe’ and something that sounded like ‘fill you up with my cum’ or something, but Kyle wasn’t about to focus on half-hearted dirty talk when Stan’s dick was slamming him into the bathroom floor. He grabbed onto one of the hands tight on his doughy hip, moving it to his hard cock and patting Stan’s wrist, as if he would know that meant to stroke. He caught on, moving up and down quickly, and then Kyle was done for.  
He squirmed around like he’d never done this before, letting out an embarrassed whine as he came all over that ugly fucking rug, breathing hard.  
Stan didn’t take much longer, finishing inside of Kyle with a groan, pulling out to fall against Kyle’s side, folding his arms behind his head. He was quiet a moment, before turning to look at the other, who was still working on catching his breath, flushed in the face.  
“So did you like.. pretend that was piss or something?” Stan smirked.  
Kyle’s cheeks burned and he reached up to smack the other hard in the arm, “You’re fucking gross, dude.”


End file.
